Today is Maggie’s first day of Pre-School.
She’s 4 months shy of turning 4 and is incredibly excited about starting school. Her beautiful, bold and bubbly personality shines so brightly that sometimes I have to take a moment and remind myself that she is just three years old and still a little girl.
They really are still so tiny and precious.
I can tell she’s a little bit nervous though, because every now and then this past week she will glance my way, her lips turn downwards and she says, ‘But you will stay with me Mummy? You won’t leave me?’.
We walked to the school to pick up her uniform last week and all I could think about was how her hand fits so perfectly into mine. Every now and then she would break free to run, hop or skip but would always return to hold my hand.
And that’s how we’ve spent the last (almost) four years – together. Our hearts weaved together so tightly that sometimes we both wanted to shout, scream and pull away.
Our bonds are stronger than glue.
But I have hot tears brimming in my eyes as I write this because I know today I have to let go of a little part of her to a world that is filled with new experiences but a world that is also far from perfect.
I didn’t expect to feel this way today. I’ve shared her excitement these past few weeks as it dawned on me that I will get three hours to myself whilst she’s at preschool. I have planned my mornings with short runs, workouts and yoga classes, finally a chance to be well … Sarah again.
And then I realised something I’ve known all along – she’s still so small and in a blink of an eye this will be the first day of highschool and already I’m anxious about years lost before its happened.
Stay in the moment.
Yesterday I reminded her that her first day of school was today and she said, ‘Wow! That’s a serious mission!’.
Yes, it sure is Maggie.
Preschool will be just perfect for the both of us. Three hours for this little butterfly to flit and float about, make new friends, play new games and sing new songs. But at the end of the morning I will be there waiting for her, I will watch her gorgeous blue eyes search for me in the crowd and smile as I feel her hand in mine.
She’s still mine, for now.