What is like to live in an apartment?
At first I could not complain about the freebies that came with our Darwin apartment: free rent, wifi, Foxtel, weekly cleaning service that also changes the sheets, fully furnished and free utilities.
But yes of course only I can find things to whinge about … FFS
I loved our little 2 bedroom apartment, but then we moved down the hall to a bigger 3 bedroom and little did we know that a Russian Shrek lived above us … FFS
STOMP.STOMP.STOMP well into the early hours of the morning.
Their kids love to ride scooters in the apartment … FFS
And bounce balls after 10pm … FFS
Bouncing a tennis ball is equivalent to bombs going off … FFS
Someone leaves their mobile phone on the bedroom floor and at 5am it’s safe to say I’m awake thanks to a very unpleasant vibration … FFS
And here I was thinking only pleasant vibrations existed … FFS
Russian Shrek invites a few of his pals over on a Saturday night and they start jamming with guitars … FFS
I know where I would like to jam that guitar … FFS
Yet, we can’t complain because the pretty much the entire apartment complex is inhabited with HB’s fellow employees … FFS
The cleaning ladies should really leave the word ‘cleaning’ out of their job description … FFS
But they are very good sheet changers … No FFS
I miss my Bosch appliances and scanpans … FFS
We have a dishwasher and washing machine that don’t work properly and a tiny fridge that beeps at me all day long … FFS
The free wifi has been on the blink for weeks and we finally gave in and we’re paying for our phone line to be installed with Internet … FFS
So after 20 months of living in Darwin I’ve just about had enough … FFS
And I never thought this would happen because there are so many things I love about this place … FFS
When I first moved here people would ask me how I was liking it? When I asked them back most said they hated it and I am only just beginning to understand why.
I would like to go for a run between the hours of 8am and 5pm without dying from heat exhaustion … FFS
I no longer want to live in a sauna for 9 months of the year … FFS
I would like to swim in the ocean without fear of being taken by a monster croc … FFS
Or if the crocs are asleep, the boxf jelly fish are there … FFS
I would like to not feel like a single mother 6 days a week … FFS
Or even just to have my husband at home for breakfast again << partly so I can go for an early run and partly because he always made me breakfast in bed … FFS
Most of my communication with HB is done via email, he has usually sent a ‘Good Morning’ email by 7am … FFS
I would like to be able to drive on the roads without checking 5 times if the light really is green just to make sure no-one is going to run a red light … FFS
I would like a stop sign to be just that, a stop sign … FFS
I would like to walk into a shopping centre and not have to hold my breath because of the BO stench which is probably partly my own … FFS
I would like to have a decent shopping centre where Kmart and Big W were not the highlights … FFS
I would like to my daughter to a park that didn’t have a group of 10 people passed out under a tree from alcohol consumption … FFS
I miss my animals and Maggie asks me why can’t she have a dog, EVERY SINGLE DAY … FFS
We are allowed to keep a reptile though … FFS
I miss having my own place with my own things and my own community … FFS
And as much as I love to whinge, I know it’s not just me because at least 6 families we know on our floor alone have left for similar reasons … FFS
BUT you gotta love the sunsets …
Fridays Decanted was formerly known as FFS Friday, but after several years it matured and needed a makeover much like its owner.
Check out my last episode of Fridays Decanted for more riveting entertainment.
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