Apartment Living Hell

FFS Friday
apartment living hellSend wine …

What is like to live in an apartment?

At first I could not complain about the freebies that came with our Darwin apartment: free rent, wifi, Foxtel, weekly cleaning service that also changes the sheets, fully furnished and free utilities.

But yes of course only I can find things to whinge about … FFS

I loved our little 2 bedroom apartment, but then we moved down the hall to a bigger 3 bedroom and little did we know that a Russian Shrek lived above us … FFS

STOMP.STOMP.STOMP well into the early hours of the morning.

Their kids love to ride scooters in the apartment … FFS

And bounce balls after 10pm … FFS

Bouncing a tennis ball is equivalent to bombs going off … FFS

Someone leaves their mobile phone on the bedroom floor and at 5am it’s safe to say I’m awake thanks to a very unpleasant vibration … FFS

And here I was thinking only pleasant vibrations existed … FFS

Russian Shrek invites a few of his pals over on a Saturday night and they start jamming with guitars … FFS

I know where I would like to jam that guitar … FFS

Yet, we can’t complain because the pretty much the entire apartment complex is inhabited with HB’s fellow employees … FFS

The cleaning ladies should really leave the word ‘cleaning’ out of their job description … FFS

But they are very good sheet changers … No FFS

I miss my Bosch appliances and scanpans … FFS

We have a dishwasher and washing machine that don’t work properly and a tiny fridge that beeps at me all day long … FFS

The free wifi has been on the blink for weeks and we finally gave in and we’re paying for our phone line to be installed with Internet … FFS

So after 20 months of living in Darwin I’ve just about had enough … FFS

And I never thought this would happen because there are so many things I love about this place … FFS

When I first moved here people would ask me how I was liking it? When I asked them back most said they hated it and I am only just beginning to understand why.

I would like to go for a run between the hours of 8am and 5pm without dying from heat exhaustion … FFS

I no longer want to live in a sauna for 9 months of the year … FFS

I would like to swim in the ocean without fear of being taken by a monster croc … FFS

Or if the crocs are asleep, the boxf jelly fish are there … FFS 

I would like to not feel like a single mother 6 days a week … FFS

Or even just to have my husband at home for breakfast again << partly so I can go for an early run and partly because he always made me breakfast in bed … FFS

Most of my communication with HB is done via email, he has usually sent a ‘Good Morning’ email by 7am … FFS

I would like to be able to drive on the roads without checking 5 times if the light really is green just to make sure no-one is going to run a red light … FFS

I would like a stop sign to be just that, a stop sign … FFS

I would like to walk into a shopping centre and not have to hold my breath because of the BO stench which is probably partly my own … FFS

I would like to have a decent shopping centre where Kmart and Big W were not the highlights … FFS

I would like to my daughter to a park that didn’t have a group of 10 people passed out under a tree from alcohol consumption … FFS

I miss my animals and Maggie asks me why can’t she have a dog, EVERY SINGLE DAY … FFS

We are allowed to keep a reptile though … FFS

I miss having my own place with my own things and my own community … FFS

And as much as I love to whinge, I know it’s not just me because at least 6 families we know on our floor alone have left for similar reasons … FFS

BUT you gotta love the sunsets …

darwin sunset cruiseI will certainly miss them when we leave. 

Fridays Decanted was formerly known as FFS Friday, but after several years it matured and needed a makeover much like its owner.  

Check out my last episode of Fridays Decanted for more riveting entertainment. 

Make my day and share your weekly whine with me over on the MFL Facebook Page.





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