When I rebranded this blog from Dear Baby G to Move Fuel Love I was ecstatic – I had finally found my niche. I realised that I would lose some of my treasured readers at the expense of this discovery, but I needed to move forward.
Someone left a comment just last week on how they miss the old days when I shared more of my family life with you all. Firstly, I really do appreciate anyone that takes the time to write and leave a comment. I know I rarely can find the time to do the same thing on the blogs I follow, thank you.
The truth of the matter is when I started Dear Baby G early in 2011 I honestly had no idea what I was getting into. The blogging world was brand spanking new to me as was social media. At that time, my kids were 12, 11 and 9 years old and I was almost 5 months pregnant with Maggie. As time went by and they got older they wanted their privacy and I respected their decision 100%.
Teenagers don’t want their photos displayed on their Mum’s blog, so uncool.
Their choices and preferences for privacy made me realise early on in Maggie’s life that her digital footprint should also be protected. One day she too will be a teenager and I hate to think that a quick Google search could bring her embarrassment further down the line. Maggie is 4 years old loves Barbies, old Disney films, riding her bike, ballet and of course running. She tells everyone she wants to be a rock star when she grows up and she practices singing in the mirror every afternoon. Her pre-school teachers tell me she’s destined for the stage.
In October, we have been living in Darwin for 2 years and the time has flown by in a blink of an eye. Never in a million years did we think we would be living here and that our big blended family of 8 would be separated. Right now Annaliese (14) and Maggie (4) live with us here in Darwin and our older children reside in Perth. Gabby (17) gave Darwin a shot, but in the end she missed her friends and Perth too much.
It’s heartbreaking when you don’t have all your children living under your roof. Every single night when the lights go out I think about Gabby and Liam (16) and about how much I miss them and how I wish I could kiss them goodnight. It’s the simple things you miss – driving them places, cooking them dinner, random hugs, conversations about school and friends. The pain of losing them is still so raw and it’s a wound which I don’t think will ever heal. I don’t think a mother is ever ready for a child to leave her nest but they left mine too early.
The grief is still there in its raw and visceral state. It lies beneath the surface and most people will never know it’s there. It has become my friend and it has shown me that love exists even when the world is dark and full of chaos.
There have been many times when I have wanted to sit down and write about our life these past two years, but I have stopped myself. Whilst it would be cathartic for me and make for some great reading, it would come at a cost. A price which I’m not willing to pay. I still love to share little snippets of our life in all my posts and if you follow me on Instagram you will find that I share quite a bit more over there. I’m slightly Instagram obsessed.
I’ll be here writing about my fitness journey, my love affair with good food and my wanderlust fuelled adventures.